On my Instagram I inquired to my followers if they wanted to hear more about my dating life which led me to write Dating as a Millenial. I received my most views and engagement on that post so y'all are either real nosy or genuinely curious about my dating life. Either way I enjoy sharing my life's journey with you all and dating is a component of that journey.
In past blog posts I have shared how my life is not currently where I thought it would be. In my younger days I imagined being married with at least 1 child by now. But I am still young and there's plenty of time for that to happen. Today's blog post I share with you the downside to dating, breakups. At the age of 26 I have experienced a few of those, some good and bad. Breakups suck but there's ways to cope and move forward. Here's 5 ways I got through a sucky breakup.
1. It's okay to cry, and cry some more.
Your relationship ended and you probably feel like your world has ended. Trust me it hasn't but the feelings you are experiencing are real. It is healthy to let those emotions out. I am a 'cryer.' I use to want to try to hold it in but honestly sometimes a good cry makes you feel better. All that pent-up stress and anger should be pushed out so you can begin to heal
2. Find a healthy distraction
In relationships it is easy for that person's role in your life to become a routine. You spend lots of time with them and suddenly that is taken away. When I am in a relationship I tend to put my whole heart fully into it, then after a breakup I am left feeling incomplete. These last two breakups I used my blog as a coping mechanism. Writing gives me a sense of peace and is a creative way to express my emotions. So find something for yourself that allows you to pull your focus back into yourself in a positive manner. Some ideas include; exercising, art, music, or dancing. Those things could distract you from what ended and move forward.
3. Look in the mirror
"You gotta be mature enough to know you have some toxic traits too." That quotes is really hard for me. There are always two sides to every story. In my mind I am quick to put blame on the other person during a breakup. Whether it was my fault, his fault, or whatever, we both played a part on the relationship ending. In order to get past the hurt you have to look at yourself and realize there are somethings you need to work on too. For me, I know I need to focus on recognizing red flags, communicating better, and maintaining my own identity. I am still working on those things but the first step to healing is to recognize what needs to be fixed in yourself and lead from there. Let's turn our loss into a learning experience.
4. Listen to your friends/family
In the beginning of the relationship everything always seems so exciting and perfect. That may be the case, but sometimes we wear rose-colored glasses. In every breakup I've had my friends or family saw signs that I ignored. Your people know you and usually what is best for you. I know it's hard but listen to their advice it could save you a lot of heartache.
5. Seek therapy
I am a big advocate on going to therapy for everyone. A breakup can be a traumatic experience that may result in a need for professional help. Within my own life my therapist has assisted with different techniques that transitioned my grief into a more positive outlook. Going to therapy doesn't make you appear crazy. If you are physically sick you seek a doctor and the same can be said for mental awareness in seeking therapeutic treatment.
If you are going through a breakup I hope this list gives you some clarity. This past year I have gone through two breakups that were hard. Healing doesn't happen over night and there is some work you should put back in yourself. Let's turn our loss into a learning experience!